Last night I had a quiet night in. I was wreaked after work and wasn't in the mood to get ready to face crowded bars and taxi queues. I invited Malcolm* (reunited friend from last week) over to watch a dvd... All day yesterday at work I was feeling horny. I get like this sometimes when all I can think of is sex, being fucked, sucking, licking... At work I didn't want to be disturbed from my thoughts, i wanted to go into a secluded corner, room, closet, somewhere no one would find me and just be with my thoughts. My thoughts varied from being a slut whore serving my Master to having a slut whore serve me. Both appeal.
Obviously Malcolm knows nothing of this side of me (no one in my real life at the moment does) the slut, whore, fuck toy wannabe side. We're about to watch the dvd and i can't sit still. Ever get that restless leg thing during long journeys, i had the equivalent of that but it was my cunt that was tingling. I knew i wouldn't be able to sit still and relax to watch the movie if i didn't pay it some attention. What I wanted to do was ask him to touch me, to finger fuck me slowly to start.. I couldn't bring myself to ask him - how could I, what on earth would he think? So i asked him to pause it a few minutes and that I just remembered I had a to call someone and I'll be back in a minute. So i ran upstairs, serviced myself and was back down within about 10 mins, a bit red and flushed, yes but I'd had my fix and was feeling content for now.
During the movie i was getting constant thoughts, no, more longings of wanting to be on my knees between his thighs and for want of a better word - worshipping his cock. Kissing, sucking, licking, holding it in my mouth, i wanted to feel his balls in my mouth, to feel it go hard, hitting the back of my throat as he relaxed back on the sofa watching the movie. I wasn't interested in what we were watching, i just wanted to be used by him.
We did eventually have sex, in my bed... yawn... it was nice sex...
I did wake up in the middle of the night fingering myself. I tend to do this from time to time during these phases. I had to try and be quiet in case i woke him next to me. I think the reason I'm so horny at the moment might have something to do with the full moon. I can't think of any other reason.
Sunday, July 20, 2008
Thursday, July 17, 2008
Jump Start
Its 2 weeks today since Mr X left my life. After a (brief) mourning period and a week or so of no libido i went "on the lash" for the weekend and oh my God it was just what i needed. Due to work commitments it has been a few weeks since i truly let my hair down and literally couldn't give a fuck about anything. I went out for the sole purpose of have a great time which is exactly what i did.
Saturday night in a bar in town i met a guy i haven't seen in years. I was "seeing him" for a brief period. It was so great to see him again. Even after almost 6 years he hadn't changed much. We flirted with each other so easily, i felt so comfortable in his company. When his hand run up down back resting on my arse cheek it felt great, i could feel the electricity run down my spine and my cunt start to twitch. I knew within 10 Min's i was going to sleep with him that night. Before i knew it we had isolated ourselves in a corner, we were in our own little world completely oblivious to what was happening around us. It was quite intense.
He asked why i never called or answered his texts all those years ago. He reminded me how i had ended it with him. I was such a bitch, i just dropped him. No explanation, nothing i just ignored him. We were young i was like a kid in a sweet shop and just couldn't settle for 1 boy when there was so many more out there. I wanted to try them all, the boy with the stud in his tongue that worked in the off licence, the boy with the bleached blond hair that looked like Eminem, They boy in the corner shop that had that cute dimple, the bouncer in the pub who had that gorgeous Italian look... i wanted them all but how could i possibly make time for them if i had a boyfriend as well. In those days most men had an expiry date of 3 nights out at most. It was then time for a new flavour sweet.
We went back to mine and i have to admit he had improved with age. I don't remember the sex before being particularly memorable but he definitely rocked my world Saturday night. On our way home i pulled him into a small park close to where i live. He pushed me up against the tree and lifted my skirt, his hands rough against my skin.. my inner thighs moist from our night of flirting, the anticipation of what i knew was to come. Pulling my thong to one side, the bite of the cold night air causing me to gush. His fingers teasing my clit as we kissed deeply... I felt so completely un-inhibited and free.
Before this weekend i was like a dead car battery and he was my jump leads. He kick started me up again and since that night i have been so fucking horny, i even rang him last night after work to meet me at my place and be there when i got home. Today before i went to work i came twice within an hour using my trusted rabbit vibe (this is unheard of for me as its a very powerful vibe and it usually takes a day or 2 to recover) I think i may have over done things a little though. I'm feeling very tender down there at the moment and i swear i think i was walkin a bit funny at work this evening.
Saturday night in a bar in town i met a guy i haven't seen in years. I was "seeing him" for a brief period. It was so great to see him again. Even after almost 6 years he hadn't changed much. We flirted with each other so easily, i felt so comfortable in his company. When his hand run up down back resting on my arse cheek it felt great, i could feel the electricity run down my spine and my cunt start to twitch. I knew within 10 Min's i was going to sleep with him that night. Before i knew it we had isolated ourselves in a corner, we were in our own little world completely oblivious to what was happening around us. It was quite intense.
He asked why i never called or answered his texts all those years ago. He reminded me how i had ended it with him. I was such a bitch, i just dropped him. No explanation, nothing i just ignored him. We were young i was like a kid in a sweet shop and just couldn't settle for 1 boy when there was so many more out there. I wanted to try them all, the boy with the stud in his tongue that worked in the off licence, the boy with the bleached blond hair that looked like Eminem, They boy in the corner shop that had that cute dimple, the bouncer in the pub who had that gorgeous Italian look... i wanted them all but how could i possibly make time for them if i had a boyfriend as well. In those days most men had an expiry date of 3 nights out at most. It was then time for a new flavour sweet.
We went back to mine and i have to admit he had improved with age. I don't remember the sex before being particularly memorable but he definitely rocked my world Saturday night. On our way home i pulled him into a small park close to where i live. He pushed me up against the tree and lifted my skirt, his hands rough against my skin.. my inner thighs moist from our night of flirting, the anticipation of what i knew was to come. Pulling my thong to one side, the bite of the cold night air causing me to gush. His fingers teasing my clit as we kissed deeply... I felt so completely un-inhibited and free.
Before this weekend i was like a dead car battery and he was my jump leads. He kick started me up again and since that night i have been so fucking horny, i even rang him last night after work to meet me at my place and be there when i got home. Today before i went to work i came twice within an hour using my trusted rabbit vibe (this is unheard of for me as its a very powerful vibe and it usually takes a day or 2 to recover) I think i may have over done things a little though. I'm feeling very tender down there at the moment and i swear i think i was walkin a bit funny at work this evening.
Sunday, July 13, 2008
Tim (not-so) nice but Dim..
I think things a finally over between Mr X and me. It happened quite abruptly, like pulling a band aid off a wound - it stung for a little while but it was probably the best way to end. He finished it.
As I've said i met him online. We've chatted online and phone for over a year now but I've never had the courage to go that one step further and actually meet. He has in the past put a LOT of pressure on me to meet but i could never bring myself to. When we first started chatting he would ring and text me from his work mobile. I was always respectful that it was his work mobile. I would never ring him and would never text at the weekend or out of office hours unless it was to rely to him. I understood he was married and i most definitely was not going to have it on my conscience that i made life difficult for him or risk his wife finding out. Besides at the beginning i just seen it as harmless fun, we flirted and he completely got what turned me on.
During the first couple of months that we chatted his wife and kids went to stay in their holiday home in Germany. During this time when he was alone he would ring often at night staying on for hours chatting - always on his work mobile. After about 2 months his boss/father queried the huge telephone bill and this Irish mobile number. I got a call one day from a UK number i didn't recognise and it was his boss/father asking who i was. I didn't tell him but to cut a long story short from that call i now knew where he worked. It made no difference, its not like i was going to land up at his doorstep. I never told him i knew where he worked - until last week.
I mentioned it to him and i think it freaked him out. Ok I must admit i would be freaked out too if he knew where i worked but that's because i know there is a very high possibility of him turning up where as i would never dream of going to his place of work. I was insulted that after a year he didn't trust me. What did he think i was going to do with this information? A number of times he asked me to tell him where i worked and when i refused he said he had more to lose than i did. It was because of this reason he finished with me - because i knew where he worked and it all became a bit too real for him.
After the call from his boss and the huge bill he never rang me from his work mobile again but still text. Again about 2 months later he was pulled up again about the huge bill and money spent on texts from his work mobile. He then got a new separate mobile. Sometimes I do wonder just how smart is he? Not only did he ring me from his work mobile but also from his work landline. It doesn't take a genius to figure out where an individual works if they have this information.
I don't think he is cleverer than me even though he'd like to think he is. He thinks he's been crafty and clever but if your planning to have a secret whore on the side and you don't want her to know anything about your private life and also your private life(ie wife and work colleagues) not to find out about this side of you then you'd be more careful than he's been. He has the cheek to look down his nose on the Irish and lump us all in as con artist gypsies who'd steal the eye from your head given half the chance.
The bitch in me thought about posting his picture up on here.. ok I'd never do it but the thought made me smile though!
As I've said i met him online. We've chatted online and phone for over a year now but I've never had the courage to go that one step further and actually meet. He has in the past put a LOT of pressure on me to meet but i could never bring myself to. When we first started chatting he would ring and text me from his work mobile. I was always respectful that it was his work mobile. I would never ring him and would never text at the weekend or out of office hours unless it was to rely to him. I understood he was married and i most definitely was not going to have it on my conscience that i made life difficult for him or risk his wife finding out. Besides at the beginning i just seen it as harmless fun, we flirted and he completely got what turned me on.
During the first couple of months that we chatted his wife and kids went to stay in their holiday home in Germany. During this time when he was alone he would ring often at night staying on for hours chatting - always on his work mobile. After about 2 months his boss/father queried the huge telephone bill and this Irish mobile number. I got a call one day from a UK number i didn't recognise and it was his boss/father asking who i was. I didn't tell him but to cut a long story short from that call i now knew where he worked. It made no difference, its not like i was going to land up at his doorstep. I never told him i knew where he worked - until last week.
I mentioned it to him and i think it freaked him out. Ok I must admit i would be freaked out too if he knew where i worked but that's because i know there is a very high possibility of him turning up where as i would never dream of going to his place of work. I was insulted that after a year he didn't trust me. What did he think i was going to do with this information? A number of times he asked me to tell him where i worked and when i refused he said he had more to lose than i did. It was because of this reason he finished with me - because i knew where he worked and it all became a bit too real for him.
After the call from his boss and the huge bill he never rang me from his work mobile again but still text. Again about 2 months later he was pulled up again about the huge bill and money spent on texts from his work mobile. He then got a new separate mobile. Sometimes I do wonder just how smart is he? Not only did he ring me from his work mobile but also from his work landline. It doesn't take a genius to figure out where an individual works if they have this information.
I don't think he is cleverer than me even though he'd like to think he is. He thinks he's been crafty and clever but if your planning to have a secret whore on the side and you don't want her to know anything about your private life and also your private life(ie wife and work colleagues) not to find out about this side of you then you'd be more careful than he's been. He has the cheek to look down his nose on the Irish and lump us all in as con artist gypsies who'd steal the eye from your head given half the chance.
The bitch in me thought about posting his picture up on here.. ok I'd never do it but the thought made me smile though!
Tuesday, July 1, 2008
Say hello, wave goodbye
There's a song which is sang by David Grey called say hello, wave goodbye. This song always reminds me of my relationship with my ex. We lived together for 3 yrs but it never felt right. I was 23 and he was 10 yrs older when we first got together. He offered me security, protection which is something i needed it the time. I believe he loved me at the beginning, he said it first. After a month i felt obliged to say it back. I never said it on my own, it was always in response. The words would almost choke me, i could feel the bile in the back of my throat. I hated myself for lying to him, for using him, for making his life hard, a misery almost. I didn't want to be with him but i couldn't build up the strenght to leave either. I took the cowards way out and thought if i made like hard for him he would turn around and leave me. It took 3 yrs and a 4 marriage proposals before he did eventually leave. He got offered a job in another part of the country and i wouldn't move. So he went his way and i stayed where i was. There were no tears, no argument as to who got what, it was all very amiable like 2 flatmates going their different ways.
There's a line in that song - .'..as for me, well i'll find someone who's not going cheap in the sales.....' that line always pulls at my heart. Thats how i see myself, something going cheap on the sales, something to be used and discarded but never feeling good enough to be someone special. I think that's why affairs with married men appeals. With a married man, there's no expectations, no disappointments. I know from the word go they are liars, cheats, users.. I know where i stand. I feel i'll never be good enough to be someone's wife. I know i'm in this situation because of my own doing, my own beliefs. Thats life i guess and yes i know life is what one makes of it ..
There's a line in that song - .'..as for me, well i'll find someone who's not going cheap in the sales.....' that line always pulls at my heart. Thats how i see myself, something going cheap on the sales, something to be used and discarded but never feeling good enough to be someone special. I think that's why affairs with married men appeals. With a married man, there's no expectations, no disappointments. I know from the word go they are liars, cheats, users.. I know where i stand. I feel i'll never be good enough to be someone's wife. I know i'm in this situation because of my own doing, my own beliefs. Thats life i guess and yes i know life is what one makes of it ..
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