Prostitution

Before I even start I do want to point out I know the horrible truth behind prostitution, the smuggled girls, the real sex slaves and I'm appalled at some of the stories in the papers that appeared only this week.







However lately I've been having quite a few fantasies about being paid for sex. I don't know if it's the detached sex, that I wouldn't actually have to engage with this person beyond the physical act or if it's that my body would be used by this man for his pleasure and then discarded once I'd served my purpose? Is it the validation that this guy was actually willing to pay to have sex with me?

In truth I think it is all of the above. Once you accept money for sex, that's it, your fate is sealed. Your a whore. Nothing will ever change that, not in a weeks time or 70 yrs time, you will always be a whore. I'm torn in two as a person, I've mentioned so many times before, there's the "good" me and the "bad" me. I haven't allowed myself to explore half the stuff I desire, e.g Mr. X. He was so perfect for me in so many ways.

I read a book a few months ago called "sugarbabe" about a girl in Sydney, Australia who advertised for a sugar daddy. It was supposedly a true story but basically she would be this married man's paid mistress. He paid her to be available to him whenever and where ever he needed or wanted her. He would be given a key to her apartment so he could use it as his own when he needed to get away from things and she tended to all his needs...for a fee. I mentioned this to Mr X once. He just laughed.

In theory i like the idea and not because I'm some lazy sponger who wants to be supported. I have a good job which i love and i need to work hard and feel like I've done a proper days work to actually sleep at night and validate my existence. Its not the money that appeals (but of course it has its benefits), its that this person thinks I'm worth paying for.

The reality of the situation is different of course, as this girl found out, there's the feeling of rejection when they leave after a couple months. They don't owe you an explanation, your a service they paid for and can give up just as quick.

Taking all that in however I still would like to find out of someone would be willing to pay to sleep with me.

Weak Men

I've no time for weak men. They irritate, repulse and annoy me beyond belief. Men who whinge and moan when something doesn't go their way. Men who assume the world owes them a living. Oh poor me.... everyone is against me....it's everyone else's fault.....WELL maybe, just maybe its YOU! Maybe your mother was wrong and your not the reincarnation of Christ himself and you should get up off your arse and make something of your life instead of constantly moaning about how crap your life is and expecting everything to be handed to you.

What kind of "man" is quite happy and sees it as acceptable for everything in life to be handed to him! Who expects the people around him to pander to his every need and dare they protest at the injustice of it - then sulks! A man should have ambition and drive, a man should lead by example and therefore they command respect because he has damned well earned it. A man doesn't demand respect and then turn into a whinging bitch when he doesn't get it.

How can you expect me to truly submit to you, to look up to you and be completely devoted to you as a submissive needs to be when it's I who carry you. I have to be the strong one constantly, in the past I've supported you financially, emotionally, I have to carry your insecurities and silently deal with my own. Your not for me, that's why I broke up with you all those years ago. Why would I want to start it all up again? Your far too weak, needy and dependent. You drag me down.

This is a man who in the past has flogged me and drawn blood, who's raped my arse so savagely, pounded me so severely I couldn't sit for a full day and walked with difficulty for days after. I didn't complain or moan because there would have been no point.

Your have a fucking head cold....

Suck it up! ! ! !