For the last few days I've had this terrible anxious feeling. Its a tightness in my chest and i can't quite breathe right. The air just doesn't seem to go all the way down to the bottom of my lungs, no matter how hard i try to breathe deeply. I hate this feeling because I'm on edge expecting something bad to happen and i hate to admit this but it usual does.
One of my ways of de-stressing is masturbation. Masturbation has been something i have done since i was very young. I remember lying in bed at night making myself cum and I couldn't have been any older than 5 or 6. It would be many years before I realised what I was actually doing and that it had a name. I never gave it much thought, even up to my 20's. Its something I've always done, it is a part of my life and I can't remember ever not doing it. I find it very hard to sleep at night if I don't cum. I never talked about masturbation with anyone, I knew it wasn't really something i should be doing. I've never hid the fact I masturbate from my sexual partners.
My ex who i was with and lived with for 3 yrs asked once when I started. I told him I was very young, about 5 or 6. He was a bit shocked and said "you know that's not normal??" I got a bit defensive and brushed his comment aside. What right had he to tell me what was or was not normal behaviour? He wouldn't drop the subject - he said more than likely I was molested when I was younger because children that young don't know about their sexual organs. I completely dismissed this theory and didn't give it much more thought. Years later and i started to see a psychotherapist - turns out he was right, i was molested but I'd blocked it out. The brains a funny thing really, how it can block out something like that, so much so that i had no recollection of the incidents until many many years later.
I'm very grateful that I do masturbate, i know many women don't. I feel doing so has so many benefits. It helps me sleep, it helps me wake up, it warms me up on cold winter nights, it de-stresses me (which i think for me replaces the need to drink or take drugs to get that high), it eases any aches or pains i may have, its hugely pleasurable, its free, it keeps me young looking (scientific fact)... the benefits go on and on and i personally think there should be a campaign to get women to masturbate more. By exploring your body you know what turns you on, what gets you off and that can only be good when with your partner.
3 comments:
I think that's delightful! A freind of mine was changing her son's nappy, and saw him tugging away - he was one year old! We burst out laughing! Children these days ...
Its natural, strangely sweet and innocent fun. Which is why it leaves me cold with rage to think that ADULTS abuse children, and maim such a beuatiful thing. I'm so, so, sorry.
Only when you become adolesent does that incredible burst of testoserone/estrogen turn it into a more sexual thing. Before that its just comforting and phsically reassuring. Then it begins to bloom into something overwhleming, and a little frightining, and can consume you (but in a great way!).
Certainly I remember the butterflys in my tummy doing erotic things as a very small boy. And much later, waking up feeling oddly untensed and finding my willy (only then growing into a cock) and balls flooded with warm sticky stuff. Puzzling, but I did'nt think much; just cleaned myself and went back to sleep.
As a teenager I wanked off all the time. First thing I'd do after a long day at school was jerk myself off, thrilled at the sight of cum shooting out like a wet arrow. Fact of the matter is, when I began fucking my cock was so hard and aroused it took years for me to cum during intercourse - I could only orgasm by masturbating. But I did - and still do! - derive massive masculine attraction for being able to hold myself back and fuck my Goddesses Whores into orgasm after orgasm. And its strange, but for the last several years my orgasms have become more powerful, mind-shattering! This does have something to do with passing 30? I thought it was only from that age on women, not men enter their sexual prime (which, I can assure you girls, goes on and on and on and ...). I guess I'm just the Irish God of Lurve!
I love the feeling I get when arosed, the way I feel the rise in my underwear, how it bulges against my pants. Slowly, I stroking it, catching my breath and sweating more and more till the pleasure insists and I thrust and it spurts, again and again, and flows out of me, hot and soft.
The pleasure I feel when cumming can make me moan and roar with pleasure and my whole body feels like I've recieved the deepest most intimate massage in moments. My hands can shake, body trembles, as it relaxes, long and thick, and can be touched and be brought stiff and rock hard so quickly.
Anything sensual carressing it thrills. Feeling your cock slide in to a mouth or pussy is almost unbearable pleasure. So wet, warm, I just have to thrust again again again, pushing in so deep we surrender to it and can barely keep looking, our eyes to eyes, so shocking is the cumm.
Whew ...
Now if you will excuse me I must do some target practise ...
I could not agree with you more. I did not masturbate until I was twenty-one. I was too scared, blah blah blah.. that was the past. Now I masturbate as much as possible, when permitted. I masturbate to sleep, to help wake up, to release tension, when I am bored, while driving, to release stress, after a good workout instead of a massage. I masturbate because it feels good and has allowed me to appreciate and know my body. I wish more people did it!
Excellent post!
In warmth,
~a
Cormac - Always great to hear from you. I'm impressed with the effort you went to leaving this comment - Thank you.
goodgirl - Thanks for dropping by and sharing your opinion on the matter. Women very rarely talk about masterbation (perhaps thats just my circle of friends), its almost taboo but what's forgotten is all the benefits. Women should be encouraged to do this more often!
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