Morning glory

I went out with my new crush last night. We had a good night, just drinks. I didn't allow myself to get too "merry" for 2 main reasons.

1. I'm always too open and honest when drunk
2. I would have brought him home and fucked him

I work with this guy and I don't want my work colleagues knowing what a whore I can be. Most of them have a idea from last years Xmas party but I can almost get away with that incident as a once off (the excuse of mixing my drinks) and I would never normally act like that... I never mix business with pleasure (almost never) The moral of the story is this guy won't be getting any for a while yet. He's due to leave in about 2 weeks - i will fuck him before he goes, that's for sure just closer to the time of him leaving.

Today I was off (i say off - for me this means the morning and afternoon) and OMG had one of the most powerful mind blowing orgasms I've experienced in a while. It was one of those that the spasm just went on and on for what felt like half an hour(in reality it was about 5 mins) Today for the first time in about 3 weeks I can completely relax. I've been extremely horny for the last 6 days or so. Its almost 3 in the afternoon and I'm still lying in bed basking in the afterglow of my mid morning orgasm. The distinct smell of the vibe beside me, its a mixture of rubber and my cum...wonder if i have time to go again???

work, work and more work...

The last week at work has been so stressful but at the same time i enjoyed it. I've been working 14-16 hour days and I've come home barely able to move from exhaustion. However for me there is no greater feeling than falling into my bed, satisfied in the knowledge that i deserve to be in bed, that i have done a hard days work and i can go to sleep without guilt. i think i may be or on the way to being a workaholic - but what is a workaholic?? For the last 6 months i have on average had 1 full day off a month - every other day i work - i work 2 jobs and have accepted a promotion in my second job which will mean more hours, more responsibility. more stress but i need that validation of feeling useful. Work makes me feel useful and that i have a purpose.

Also after a particularly hard exhausting day, when i do eventually get to bed, i need to relax and unwind before i can sleep. I always lie on my stomach and cum grinding down on my fingers. If its a DIY job this is the best position for me for a number of reasons, i always cum within 3-5 mins, all the muscles in my body relax, my aches and pains disappear as orgasm after orgasm washes over me and I'm already in my favourite sleeping position and within seconds I've nodded off into a deep coma almost.

Mr X is on holiday in Turkey with the family for a week. Its a bit of a relief as I'll have a break from the pressure of him asking about us meeting. I'm not meeting him, He knows deep down but it doesn't stop him putting pressure on me.

Speaking of work though - new guy is working with us for a short while. i seen him around for a few weeks before but didn't have much dealings with him and he wasn't anything special to look at. Over the last week I've had to work with him more closely.. oh wow.. He is lovely.. Everyone likes him, no-one has a bad word to say about him. It just shows how much some one's personality can take them from a 4 on a scale of hot up to an 8.5. i admire how well he handles stress, he never loses it or shouts (i wish i could say the same thing), he will always listen and immediately help out. He's from somewhere in Northern Ireland and has that sexy accent that just makes me melt. i think i may have a new crush...

horny weak slut...

For last few days i have been feeling so fucking horny... what happens when i get horny? i become submissive.. my fantasies start to get depraved and i need a like minded person to share in them, to help them blossom... i submitted and contacted Mr X. He stimulates my cunt like no other. i came twice at work today just from texts he sent me during the day. Telling me how a whore like me should be used, that i need him.. that a fuck toy is nothing without a Master to use it, to play with it, to humiliate it... I'm so weak.. When I'm horny I'm so pliable, i bend to his will and I'm helpless. I've tried to be strong, i can manage it until my cunt takes over and then my mind is not my own, my common sense no longer exists.

I've promised I'll meet him in Belfast on the 3 rd of June

What have i done????

...and I'm feelin goood....

Feeling in much better mood this week. Last week my God i was like an anti-Christ - everyone was getting it off me over nothing!!

I have some how over the last few weeks lost all interest in Mr X. I think once i seen things the way things were and not how i wished they could be i came to my senses. Sometimes something will happen that will remind me of him and what i wished i could have had with him. i feel that familiar tightness in my chest of missing him but this is happening less and less thankfully. At one stage it was every time i seen a Audi car it reminded me of him....i hadn't realised but they're all over the bloody place!

Another reason i think i have got over him is that i realised i wasn't willing to settle. I loved so much about him but at the end of the day he was married and in his words I'm "..a spoilt, selfish slut..." I AM. I'm spoilt and selfish in that i don't want to have to share the man i choose to be with. I want an all-in-one man, who can treat me like his bitch when i need that but who i know deep down loves and respects me. Someone who's mine and i don't have to share... oh and if he could look like Daniel Craig that would be good.... Thanx Santa..

Moaning

It was my birthday over the weekend. It had to be the shittiest pathetic excuse for a birthday ever. Its a bank holiday weekend and I've work for the entire time. On my birthday i worked an 14 hr shift in the ONLY good weather we've seen since this time last year which i got to "enjoy" from inside looking out. I want to scream and I'm feeling sorry for myself. Everything this evening is annoying me, i came home and planned to put on a wash but housemate has clothes in the machine, i wanted to watch TV (desperate housewives or sex and the city, some kind of mindless drivel) but no housemates are watching a replay of some poxy match that was probably played years ago... or watching Sky sports news.. What's that all about?? Rubbish!!

I'm so wound up i can't even think straight. Maybe I just need a good hard fuck!